Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Writer's Voice Entry: THE EDGE OF THE UNIVERSE

Query

Dear Agent,

Mabel and Edwin never planned on being revolutionists…but then no one should have hurt their sisters.

Seventeen-year-old Mabel is tired of everyone thinking her sister is dead or ran off to get away from their drunk father. She’s determined to find her lost sister even if that takes her to the edge of the universe, also known as Asdir. It’s a strange place of magic gone wild, endless winters, and a tyrannical emperor who rules it all. There, Mabel meets Edwin who is on his own quest to avenge the death of his sister. They team up when they realize the person who killed Edwin’s sister and kidnapped Mabel’s is the same man: Emperor Thaddeus.

But Thaddeus doesn’t want to kill Mabel’s sister. He uses her as bait for his real goal and Mabel falls right into the trap. What Thaddeus wants is something from Earth that only Mabel can get for him: his runaway wife, who also happens to be Mabel’s mother. She has two choices: bring her mother back to Thaddeus or her sister, along with Edwin’s family, dies.

But then there is always the third option: start a rebellion and kill Thaddeus first.

THE EDGE OF THE UNIVERSE is a YA fantasy complete at 78,000 words. It will appeal to readers of THE IRON KING by Julie Kagawa and THRONE OF GLASS by Sarah J. Maas. I have a Masters in Library Science and currently work as a youth services librarian and am a member in YALSA. I have included the first 250 words for your review. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Kind regards,
Nicole Settle

First 250 Words

Mabel Reyes had a rule about her clothing: she didn’t wear anything she couldn’t sleep in. She believed life was uncomfortable enough that her clothes shouldn’t have to be. That morning she had thrown on sweats, a knit sweater, and scarf. This was her armor to face the day.

And she needed it.

Today was another dreadful day and lunch was the worst.

Mabel could use the excuse of listening to her teachers during school, but at lunch, sitting in the cafeteria, surrounded by all the chatter, it was harder to ignore her friends.

They felt it was their duty to cheer her up or at least bring her back to normal. But since Mabel’s sister had disappeared, she felt as though a part of her heart had been hollowed out and the vacancy grew larger with each passing day she was gone.

“We’re thinking of going to the lake this Saturday,” Emma asked, pulling Mabel away from her lunch as she mentally counted each string of spaghetti. “A bonfire, some s’mores. What do you think? You coming?”

Mabel couldn’t say they weren’t persistent. Emma and Alice were always asking her to do things.

You want to go the movies?

We’re thinking of trying this new restaurant—want to come?


We hear Kevin is having a party Friday night—are you in?


Thanks, but no thanks.

Mabel was good with those words. They were beginning to roll off her tongue too easily.

Eventually she had to stop.

8 comments:

  1. Interesting premise. I like the earthly problems that have surfaced in your elsewhere. Good Luck!

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  2. Great opening. Feels real. Can't wait to see the shift into fantasy. Great voice!! Please visit my entry #41. Good luck, Nicole.

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  3. A trap and a big choice! Love the premise. Good luck to you!

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